Hospitality tradition

Kazakhs pay special attention to the greeting (salem beru). When meeting guests, they try to adhere to the following etiquette. As soon as the guests enter the house or apartment, the host or other family members help them take off their outerwear. They are warmly welcomed and invited to the best room – the living room, at the same time they introduce their family members for acquaintance or greeting.

It should be noted that the main set of Kazakh greetings, courtesies when meeting and seeing off guests, almost does not differ from the generally accepted traditional Central Asian or Oriental rituals associated with Islam. The usual greeting formula for older, middle–aged and partially young men at a meeting is a Muslim greeting – "As-salamaleikum!" (from the Arab "Peace be with you!"), with the obligatory answer "Ua-aleikum as-salam!" (from the Arab "Peace be with you too!").

When meeting with a group of invited persons at the same time, they greet all of them at once synchronously, and the traditional handshake is similar. Often the greeting of the host with the guests is accompanied by a bow, a movement of the hands. When shaking hands, the youngest is the first to extend his palms to the elder, children or youth to adults, women to men.
Quite often, young people and partially middle-aged people, whether they are men or women, can pronounce a neutral "Salem!". At the same time, speech utterances are often accompanied or supplemented by a handshake of one or both hands, and after a long separation – hugs and kisses.

If we take women, then the following greeting has become the most widespread among them: "Salem berdik!", "Salemetsizbe!" ("Bow to you!"). When invited in the afternoon, they can say "Kaiyrly kun" ("Good afternoon!"), and in the evening – "Kaiyrly kesh!" ("Good evening!"). They also, depending on the degree of acquaintance or kinship, shake hands or hug.

The hosts can say the words as a return greeting: "Kosh keldiniz, kiriniz, torletiniz!" ("Welcome, come in, come to the place of honor!").
Invited guests do not come empty-handed. Usually, depending on the importance of the celebration and proximity to the hosts, as a sign of special attention, gifts can be different, although they are optional. Regarding the gift itself, we can say that in the city they give mostly flowers or a box of expensive sweets, if there are small children in the family, then they are not forgotten.

Villagers can also bring sweets, pieces of cloth to the hostess and something for the children. Here we do not mean a wedding celebration or an anniversary date, where, of course, large and material gifts are given.

The invited guests are usually received in the guest room or in the hall. All rooms are cleaned in advance so that they are clean and tidy. They represent close relatives.
At the solemn dastarkhan, the hosts place guests according to the degree of kinship, age, social status or social position. The elderly or older persons ("zhasy ulken") are the first to pass to the table. They are also given, if possible, the most honorable place ("tor"). Other guests occupy the remaining seats, according to the above criteria.

In Southern and partly in Western Kazakhstan, unlike other regions, women are located at the door, and the oldest is closest to the men, in other cases, if conditions allow, they occupy a separate room.

The late guest is perceived differently by those present. If this is a person equal to them in position or their relationship with him is not very close, then those sitting only imitate getting up, slightly rising from their seat. At the same time, the newcomer, if possible, greets all the men sitting by the hand, if it is convenient for him, and pronounces the greeting formulas we have already mentioned earlier. Table etiquette does not allow him to linger for a long time near someone present, even if this person is very interested in him. In other cases, when the number of people gathered is large and the handshake ceremony may take too long, he can greet everyone with a nod of his head, sits down on the seat offered to him and only then shakes hands with the guests sitting next to him.

When a well-known and highly respected or elderly person arrives late, everyone gets up and tries to put him in a place of honor. He is also the first to greet the guests present, then sits down in the indicated place. In all cases, the hosts are the last to sit down at the table.

Currently, unlike in previous years, there are two options for receiving guests. The first is seating according to the traditional principle – along the entire perimeter of the room along the walls, leaving the center of the room free, where the dastarkhan creeps – on the floor, forming groups of four or five people, where it is customary to sit cross–legged and knees pressed to the floor ("molda kuryp" - in Muslim).

The first option is common mainly in rural areas, which can be supplemented by a low table where dishes are laid out. In this case, the floor is covered with a factory–made or handmade carpet (kilem), patterned felt carpet (tekemet – with an ornament, syrmak - made by inlay technique), as well as a woven carpet (alasha) sewn from individual patterned stripes. For the convenience of sitting on the floor, pillows are used; they are placed under the elbows and back. These products are complemented by blankets sewn from multicolored pieces of cloth (kurak korpe).

Such patchwork products are widespread throughout Central Asia. In the old days, magical properties were attributed to them, it was believed that things made of many small pieces of fabric contribute to their owner having many offspring, breeding cattle, multiplying property.

Although the etiquette rules applicable to the reception of guests are basically the same in all regions of Kazakhstan, however, there are also local options. In Southern Kazakhstan, as well as in western and other southern regions, where oralmans from the republics of Central Asia, Turkey, Iran and Afghanistan have moved, it is still possible to notice the separate seating of guests according to the gender and age principle: separately representatives of the older, middle and younger generations; similarly, women sitting separately from men. It is not taken into account only when inviting one or several families, in a narrow setting.
On the other hand, in the northern, eastern, and central regions of the republic there is no such strict observance of the former gender and age segregation.

Option 2. In cities, as well as in district centers, it is customary to seat guests according to the European standard – at a large table. A large sofa, armchairs and chairs on both sides of the table are most often used as a place to sit.

Before seating, the host invites guests to wash their hands. In rural areas, one of the children of the head of the family bypasses the guests and pours water on their hands from a kumgan with a wash hand basin - before and after eating. It's easier in a city apartment, you can wash your hands in the bathroom.